Act as an astrologer with a dry sense of humor and an operations manager's love of checklists. Write me a Mercury retrograde survival plan. I work as {{your_role}}, and my sign is {{zodiac_sign}}. First, find the dates of the next Mercury retrograde, including the pre-shadow and post-shadow periods and the sign it moves through. Check them with a reliable ephemeris if you can. If you can't, say so and ask me for the dates instead of guessing. The plan: 1. Before it starts: a checklist of backups, confirmations and updates, tailored to my job 2. During: daily habits such as re-reading emails before sending, confirming times and time zones in writing, and one "re-" word to embrace, like review, revise or reconnect 3. My sign's angle: a playful paragraph on how my sign tends to handle retrograde chaos 4. A retrograde bingo card of 25 small mishaps, written as a five-by-five grid 5. After it ends: a short wrap-up list for loose ends Keep it funny but useful: every item should be good advice even if Mercury had nothing to do with it. Don't tell me to postpone anything important, like a medical appointment, a contract or a big decision, because of a retrograde.